might be triggering

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i haven’t seen my mum since sunday morning and i miss her

she just called me and i’m in such a weird mood at the moment. not sure if i feel numb or if i’m kind of dissociating or am going to or what

people keep telling me to play slender and so the other day i went onto the site and watched the video and then proceeded to watch videos of people playing it 

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okay so today was really weird

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Dissociating during class and having no idea what’s going on…
ugh don’t feel like going to group today

I went shopping today and I tried on a dress that’s a size too big (feels more like two or three sizes too big) but it was the smallest size they had.

After I tried it on, I dissociated and got lost in the store.. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been to that shop, yet I got lost so I had a panic attack and was freaking out. It was so scary. I eventually found my way back to my mum which ‘brought me back’ and then it was like nothing happened. I’m still confused

I bought the dress anyway, along with some tights and a pair of pretty shoes :)

So tomorrow I have my first appointment with a sexual assault service.

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Well that was weird.

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Seriously considering deleting every single photo of me I’ve ever uploaded to either of my tumblrs. I’m just too ugly and disgusting, who wants to look at something as ugly as me?

I’ve hit a seriously bad low. I want to kill myself, yet I don’t want to. I want to hurt myself. I feel like I’ve dissociated and then ‘come back’ as another person. I hate this.

I hate myself.

Anonymous said: Sorry, what type specifically? And also, are they prescribed to you by a doctor or what? Do you notice a difference when you go off them?

I don’t even remember what they are, I haven’t taken them in a week and I lost my prescription. It’s also none of your business what they are lol.

My psychiatrists prescribed them, and at the moment, yes. I find myself dissociating and wanting to kill/hurt myself a lot more. 

Dissociating while being spaced out on medications, what a great combination.

ok fuck this, goodnight

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Rough day

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My dad has a brain tumour.

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