~*life updates*~

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post with feelings don’t say i didn’t warn you ok

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Next week I’m going on an actual diet (I’m gonna pray to ~*ana*~ hAHA no) and I’m gonna start regularly exercising (probably over exercising but w/e)

I’m so over this fat mess

tw

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I’m so fat, I’m obese and disgusting. I’ve gained and I can see it everywhere. My thighs are huge, my stomach is pudgy and sticks out over my pants. My face is round and chubby. My arms are flabby.

I’m just an obese mess

tw

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Triggering

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I just basically fainted

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I feel faint and lightheaded, my chest hurts and I’m having heart palpitations ~ again ~. I’m shaky and I have an awful feeling of anxiety just accumulating, but I’ve actually eaten more than I would on a regular* day. I feel like I’m either about to be sick or about to pass out

*restricting day

my old favourite pair of jeans are literally falling off me. they look about three sizes too big and i even have to wear a child’s size belt with them bc normal sized belts are too big for me sigh

My parents keep getting annoyed at me bc if i ate “regularly and healthy all the time, everyday,” then i wouldn’t always be sick ugh they just don’t understand sigh

I saw my psychiatrist today 

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Neko