today i’m having a heap of blood tests done to see what’s wrong with me, as well as an x-ray on my back bc back problems and i’m really fucking sick and cold and tired and sore but i can’t take my painkillers bc they’ll fuck up the blood results uuuuggggghhhh
Anonymous asked: Hi, Jess, how are you and how is your Doctor WHo/Supernatural marathon? Lots of love, K
Hey hey hey anon K ((that rhymes omg i’m so hilarious))
i’m actually pretty fab tbh, things are going well i think woo and doctor who and supernatural are just as amazing as ever. i started watching supernatural again a couple of weeks ago in between dw eps bc i missed it, but now i have to wait until november for the next dw ep which makes me wanna cry and cry bc my baby david tennant is in it with his baby rose and lxsfrgjvdkifjhriu i just cant omfg
how are you??? xxx
Anonymous asked: Sometimes when I look at your photos they evoke such strong emotions, joy, wonder, occasionally sadness. I wonder if when you read my messages you truly understand that I often feel all these when I think of you. You are just so beautiful. I hope you know that. I hope you never go a day without knowing you are a gift to the world.
this is probably one of the loveliest messages i’ve ever received and i just wanna hug you rn (ﾉ⊙ヮ⊙✿)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Today I’m going back to group for the first time this year. This’ll be my third term of going so I’m really anxious bc new people and I missed last week’s session ((first one of the term))
so yeah wish me luck omfg dying
I bought new pillows and its like I’m laying on fluffy clouds omg
Follow me in instagram to see ugly pics of me lol @espritlumiere (^-^✿)
It’s been six months since I was last admitted to hospital for a ~suicide attempt~, the longest I’ve ever been. Tbh this is a massive achievement for me
Snaps for jess
So tonight I slammed my heavy wooden back door on my right index and middle fingers, then basically lost my balance and fell over
Hospital + x-rays + painkillers = no fractures, very very very bad bruising, an uncomfortable splint.. but a shit load of pain :((((
I literally can’t wait to be 18, I have like 8 tattoos already planned omfg
Okay so this came up on my fb newsfeed ((I’m sure you’ve all seen the original (right) photo before. The left is an edit that the fb page “See More” uploaded today)):
When I saw it, I was ((and still am)) horrified. There were disgusting comments on the photo like
- “she was dressed like a slut so she obviously deserved it”
- she shouldn’t have gotten so drunk
- “sluts gonna slut”
- “if fucking a drunk bitch who is flirting with you is rape then I’m a serial rapist”
- “Seems to me she was drunk, did something stupid, and now is calling it rape. If you drive drunk and kill someone, maybe its the people’s fault for being in a drunk persons way…”
“To all you dumb whores out there. Sober up and keep your legs closed.”
- and two my personal favourites, from a woman: “Rape is consensual. Women love sex.”
- “That poor guy she is blaming…I feel terrible for him. His life could be ruined because she regrets drunken sex.”
SO if you follow me and read my posts sometimes, you’ll know I’m all for equal rights and that I consider myself a feminist. As a rape victim ((and still recovering from PTSD, so you can imagine it was hard for me to write what I wrote)), I find things like this extremely offensive, and really really wrong. I’m ashamed of our race when things like this happen, and it’s so obviously wrong. In this day and age, just how ignorant and moronic can people be??? Anyways I commented this:
You people are all honestly so fucking ignorant.
Don’t you ever wonder why rape is so common and happens everywhere we look? It’s because morons like you keep promoting it.
Joking about rape, whether it’s a “troll” or not, is still not okay. Rape ruins people’s lives, it crushes people, can even spread disease and result in unwanted pregnancies. It’s one of the top reasons why people commit suicide.
Telling someone they were raped because they “dressed like a whore” is so fucking stupid it makes my brain hurt. I’m sorry, did I miss the memo? I didn’t realise prostitutes had a strict dress code when working or looking for a job. I didn’t realise dressing like a “whore” was a bad thing, you know, with so many “whores” wearing jeans, hoodies, loose fitting clothes etc. I also didn’t know that sleeping with as many people you feel comfortable with made you a “whore”. ((For those of you stupid enough to not gather, I like sarcasm.))
Last time I checked, people can do whatever the fuck they want with their own body, and it’s no one else’s fucking business.
Studies have shown that half the time a rapist doesn’t even care what their victim is wearing, as long as they can rape.
If a person can’t control their emotions/urges/want to rape, I’m very sorry ((sarcasm)) but that is most definitely not the victim’s fault. It’s the rapists fault for raping. For sexually harassing. For taking advantage of their victim.
To blame someone for their own rape, whether it be because they “had too much to drink”, “looked like a slut”, “flirted a lot”, is just not fucking okay.
It’s rape when there’s no consent, saying yes = consent. How fucking hard is it for some people to understand that?
Instead of teaching girls from a young age to be careful when they go out, to not have too much fun/drink a lot, to wear “appropriate clothes”, to never walk home by themselves, etc, how about teaching boys NOT TO RAPE.
For decades women have been taught that they “need to be careful” and that they shouldn’t do this and they shouldn’t do that, all for their own “safety” etc. We’re taught from a very young age that it’s always up to us to “look after ourselves” and do the things in the previous paragraph.
Have you realised that most of the time this doesn’t work? A rapist will rape no matter what the circumstances are.
We’ve been raised to believe that every male in our lives is a rapist until proven otherwise.
It’s so fucking stupid how we’ve grown up in a world where communities blame the victim for being raped, because we simply should have just “known better” and all that shit. It’s ridiculous just how fucking wrong this is.
Punish the rapist, not the victim.
Woman (and men) can wear whatever the fuck they want, it’s their body, not yours. Don’t tell people how to dress, tell rapists (anyone until proven otherwise; so tell everyone obviously) not to rape.
People can get as drunk as they like, they probably just want to have fun. Don’t tell them not to drink too much and get really drunk, tell rapists not to rape.
People can have sex and flirt as much as they want, ONLY if both partners say yes. If there’s no consent, it’s rape.
You would honestly think that people would realise that this is not okay.
If you disagree with anything I’ve said, there’s a very good chance you are a rapist or you’re going to be a rapist, or you want to rape.
Just like the girl in the photo: Rapists don’t know they’re rapists because people keep enabling and creating the rape culture.
Here’s a tip to prevent rape: If you think you’re going to rape someone, don’t.
Thanks to ignorant people who victim blame and don’t believe it’s wrong, rape is still happening. Rape culture is still being promoted, justice isn’t being served, and for the last fucking time:
Follow me on instagram and ily foreverrrrr: @espritlumiere