i seriously don’t understand who some of my friends have turned into. i have no words and i hate everyone

The world is better off without me.
written by me (via boys-and-suicide)

(via limitless-tyrell)

I don’t deserve to be loved
written by Six word story #20 (via sad-butsassy)

(via n-ostalgio)

i wish i could never feel anything again, it would make my life so much better lmao bye

Please tell me
I’m not as forgettable
as your silence
is making me feel.
written by (via annazissou)

(Source: coffee-crinkled-pages, via corvus-s)

i’m running so late for class but thank fuck my tutor doesn’t care lmao and i’m so stressed bc i’m really behind in the unit but fingers crossed i can finish it today and pass omfg

i’m so over waking up sick every morning like no i don’t want to throw up every time i get up omfg body stop pls

note to self: don’t try and talk to people when half asleep bc you’ll end up looking like a fucking idiot and be too embarrassed to talk to them again

well my good posi mood definitely didn’t last long lmao this is why it feels so weird being in a decent mood, bc it never stays and i just end up feeling even worse than i did before

i can’t remember the last time i was actually happy

honest to god its so fucking annoying when i actually get in the right head space of wanting to get better bc all it takes is one thing for me to go straight back to self destructing

like i’ve seen around 10 psychologists and 6 psychiatrists but i feel like only 1 of them really understood me and knew how to help me and she moved. none of the meds i’ve been on have worked. i’m not ~sick enough~ for inpatient or for anyone to actually take me seriously. and therapy alone or meds alone don’t help me

its so frustrating bc for the few months at the start of this year i was trying so hard to get better. i found meds that i thought worked and i was seeing a psych for a couple of months ((she didn’t help at all tho. she actually told me that if i keep being depressed and anxious, my bf won’t love me and he’ll leave me. which did happen but who the fuck says that to a patient??????)) so i was determined to get better and i honestly thought i was. apparently not

idek why i’m writing this, i’m just pissed and upset bc this ~wanting to get better~ mood won’t last very long and i’d liked to make the most of it without being dismissed for stupid reasons jfc

i’m in one of those moods where i want to fix every mistake i’ve ever made but i just don’t know how and i don’t want to be even more of a disappointment

i want to be happy again

my biggest problem is that i invest too much into my romantic relationships. i care too much, i tell too much, i trust too much, i hope too much, i love too much. even after the many relationships i’ve had, i never fail to sabotage everything by giving too much of myself to the other person. so when i finally find someone who i think i connect with on every level, who i’ve completely fallen in love with; i ruin things by opening myself up too much and by just giving everything i am

and that will ruin me because i don’t know how to change. my emotions, actions, talking to other people, anything, just adds to the weight of everything else on my shoulders

i feel like a huge burden and i want everyone else to be happy without me bringing them down and being a disappointment

i wrote this the other day in my diary and idk why but i just needed to get it off my chest i guess ok bye

i have a plan that i’m 120% sure will work and that’s all i have to say

i am so fucking angry and distraught rn that i actually have no words left. i’m just done goodbye

i don’t know who i am anymore and i don’t know how to be me again

Neko